Neko Adventures


Kitties, cats, and beautiful Neko-chans! Follow me on twitter & Instagram @nekoadventures

Ginger Cat - Imgur

Ginger Cat - Imgur

— 1 week ago with 9 notes
hellofromtumblr:

As far as we know from science, Tumblr is the actual best part of the universe.
Explore this thing

hellofromtumblr:

As far as we know from science, Tumblr is the actual best part of the universe.

Explore this thing

(via ellekae)

— 1 week ago with 130444 notes
FUN FACT! Iliza Shlesinger is part of the reason we created Neko Adventures! She had a bit about giving blowjobs with 100% eye contact while wearing cat paws and I thought, “fuck it, that sounds fun!”

ilizashaunch:

That’s right ladies, it’s all about positive thinking. Dream it, envision it, chant it over a fire where you burn fistfuls of his pubic hair- you have to manifest it! Seize that day, give it a shoulder length hair cut and outfit it with a new attitude!

We here at “Let’s Make Money Off the Fact that You’re Single and Feeling Adventurous” want to capitalize on your thinly veiled loneliness. We make posters that encourage single girls to get out there and really shake things up, make some moves, do things that, in a sequel to Under the Tuscan Sun would totally be plausible but, in reality, are really expensive and unsafe.  Move to another country! Take up a new language! Sleep with an uncircumcised European!
We have a variety of posters for the average girl who just needs that special pick me up after, being cheated on, broken up with or had to deal with the annoyance of an unreturned text. 
Stop Waiting For Friday: That’s right girls, you’re stressed and depressed, which means work obligations and other people’s expectations from you can wait. It’s Tuesday at 11am and you’re taking a staycation. You’re gonna cut out of work early, screw all those insensitive coworkers at Air Traffic Control, they can land those 500 planes themselves, you need some me time! Head home, give yourself a pedicure and enjoy a yogurt that regulates your digestive track. Then you’re gonna eat some Special K: CHOCOLATE THUNDER FUCK, watch Failure to Launch then take a massive dump. Sometimes a girl has just got to get away.

Stop Waiting For Summer: We are all about empowering women to make their own decisions and march to the beat of their own drum. You don’t need to wait for summer to break out that bathing suit. Go ahead girl, throw on that bikini and head outside in a Michigan November. Freeze your tits off, you don’t need a man!  ICE NIPPLES, FUCK YEAH!

For Someone To Fall In Love With You:
You don’t have to wait for someone to fall in love with you in order to love them! That’s stalker rule #1. Don’t worry if he doesn’t love you now, or even knows you exist, he will. Once he sees how much you love him, once he sees your devotion to him, once he sees how you broke in and rearranged his furniture while he was out of town! He will love you! All you have to do is get his attention! All you have to do is flirt with him! All you have to do is kill his wife!
 It’s gonna be so easy. You’ll take the night shift at your side hustle, Winchell’s. You’ll cut out of work a little early, telling them you’re gong to the bank to deposit the evenings’ cash, you’ve done this before, Houman won’t suspect a thing. You’ll speed to the bank, earning yourself as much free time as possible. It will be 5:30am when you leave the donut shop, so you can make it to the bank and be done by 5:45, you’re normally home at 6:30, so you only have 45 minutes to get to Garry’s house and kill his wife in her sleep. Ugh, time crunch!
You’ll take Fountain, even though there’s no traffic, it’ll save you a little time and you’re gonna need every extra second in case she puts up a fight. What’s her name again? Shondra? Ugh, she so would put up a fight for her life with a name like that, right?
She left the back door open, perfect. You sneak in. You’re wearing gloves because, remember, you don’t wait for summer and you sure as hell don’t wait for winter, so, even in August, you were already wearing them. They live in a one level house, thank God because you did cardio at the gym this morning and Carrie really worked you guys, your quads are killing you, thank GOD you don’t have to climb stairs. You navigate your way to the master bedroom. There she is, sleeping, ugh, in what should be your bed. What’s that on the arm chair? Stuffed animals? Ugh, Gary married a child, he needs a woman, he needs you. “HE NEEDS MEEEH!” you bleat out like a rabid sheep into the night. “HE NEEDS MEEEEEHHHHHH!” you shriek as you throw yourself atop of Shondra’s sleeping body. She startles awake, ready for action. Little Miss perfect, always prepared, typical Shondra. You wrestle, it’s super awkward for Shondra because she is only in a t shirt so her vagina is like, all over the place. Super gross, have some respect for yourself, Shondra.
You’ve surprise attacked her so you have the immediate advantage as you wrap your gloved hands around her neck. If this were a movie, she’d feel for a blunt object on a nearby nigh stand and bludgeon you with it. But this isn’t a movie, this is real life and in real life, no one keeps dense objects by the bed. I mean, maybe an alarm clock but like, for example, I have like a water bottle and some glasses for TV watching, that’s it. Shondra reaches for anything but all she comes in contact with are a stack of papers, she bats at you with them, you remain undeterred in your murderous endeavors. You press your fingers deeper and deeper into her throat, you can feel your palms pressing up against her larynx, each sound, each breath, vibrating against your skin. It’s not enough to cut off Shondra’s air supply, you want to expedite the killing by simultaneously crushing her wind pipe as you cut off the oxygen.  She claws at your hands, your fleece protected, Gortex covered hands. She makes every attempt to move, flailing her legs wildly, her vagina flapping in the night air. As you choke her, you can’t help but start to smile. With every breath she selfishly gasps for, you can feel yourself growing closer to Garry. Just a few… More… Gasps. It’s as if Garry is behind you, caressing you, urging you to finish. You must kill her, it’s the only way you and Garry can be together. Even in dying Shondra is trying to keep you from him. You bear down, putting all of your weight on her throat. You lower your face to hers, eye to eye because nothing would make Garry happier than to know you watched the life slip out of her annoying brown eyes. You open your mouth and let out a slow and noxious puff of guttural coffee breath, right in her face. Why? Because it’s… Super gross.
You look down, there are red finger marks speckling Shondra’s neck as she lies there, dead. Her eyes glazed over staring out at nothing. Nothing behind them, no intentions, no thoughts, not even the dimmest flicker of light. You’ve killed her. Garry will be so proud when he discovers her body and truly feels your love for him. Then he will know. Then everyone will know. You check the clock, 6:23. It’s perfect. 2 times 3 is 6. 6 times 6 is 36. 6 divided by 3 is 2. 2. Like a couple. You and Garry. The math is clearly written in the stars. You crawl off of Shondra’s lifeless body, her vagina is still out, you cover it up, you don’t need to be reminded of Garry’s ex. Today’s monday. Garry won’t be back from his business trip till friday. You could have done it later in the week but you’ve stopped waiting for friday.

FUN FACT! Iliza Shlesinger is part of the reason we created Neko Adventures! She had a bit about giving blowjobs with 100% eye contact while wearing cat paws and I thought, “fuck it, that sounds fun!”

ilizashaunch:

That’s right ladies, it’s all about positive thinking. Dream it, envision it, chant it over a fire where you burn fistfuls of his pubic hair- you have to manifest it! Seize that day, give it a shoulder length hair cut and outfit it with a new attitude!

We here at “Let’s Make Money Off the Fact that You’re Single and Feeling Adventurous” want to capitalize on your thinly veiled loneliness. We make posters that encourage single girls to get out there and really shake things up, make some moves, do things that, in a sequel to Under the Tuscan Sun would totally be plausible but, in reality, are really expensive and unsafe.  Move to another country! Take up a new language! Sleep with an uncircumcised European!
We have a variety of posters for the average girl who just needs that special pick me up after, being cheated on, broken up with or had to deal with the annoyance of an unreturned text. 
Stop Waiting For Friday: That’s right girls, you’re stressed and depressed, which means work obligations and other people’s expectations from you can wait. It’s Tuesday at 11am and you’re taking a staycation. You’re gonna cut out of work early, screw all those insensitive coworkers at Air Traffic Control, they can land those 500 planes themselves, you need some me time! Head home, give yourself a pedicure and enjoy a yogurt that regulates your digestive track. Then you’re gonna eat some Special K: CHOCOLATE THUNDER FUCK, watch Failure to Launch then take a massive dump. Sometimes a girl has just got to get away.
Stop Waiting For Summer: We are all about empowering women to make their own decisions and march to the beat of their own drum. You don’t need to wait for summer to break out that bathing suit. Go ahead girl, throw on that bikini and head outside in a Michigan November. Freeze your tits off, you don’t need a man!  ICE NIPPLES, FUCK YEAH!
For Someone To Fall In Love With You:
You don’t have to wait for someone to fall in love with you in order to love them! That’s stalker rule #1. Don’t worry if he doesn’t love you now, or even knows you exist, he will. Once he sees how much you love him, once he sees your devotion to him, once he sees how you broke in and rearranged his furniture while he was out of town! He will love you! All you have to do is get his attention! All you have to do is flirt with him! All you have to do is kill his wife!
 It’s gonna be so easy. You’ll take the night shift at your side hustle, Winchell’s. You’ll cut out of work a little early, telling them you’re gong to the bank to deposit the evenings’ cash, you’ve done this before, Houman won’t suspect a thing. You’ll speed to the bank, earning yourself as much free time as possible. It will be 5:30am when you leave the donut shop, so you can make it to the bank and be done by 5:45, you’re normally home at 6:30, so you only have 45 minutes to get to Garry’s house and kill his wife in her sleep. Ugh, time crunch!
You’ll take Fountain, even though there’s no traffic, it’ll save you a little time and you’re gonna need every extra second in case she puts up a fight. What’s her name again? Shondra? Ugh, she so would put up a fight for her life with a name like that, right?
She left the back door open, perfect. You sneak in. You’re wearing gloves because, remember, you don’t wait for summer and you sure as hell don’t wait for winter, so, even in August, you were already wearing them. They live in a one level house, thank God because you did cardio at the gym this morning and Carrie really worked you guys, your quads are killing you, thank GOD you don’t have to climb stairs. You navigate your way to the master bedroom. There she is, sleeping, ugh, in what should be your bed. What’s that on the arm chair? Stuffed animals? Ugh, Gary married a child, he needs a woman, he needs you. “HE NEEDS MEEEH!” you bleat out like a rabid sheep into the night. “HE NEEDS MEEEEEHHHHHH!” you shriek as you throw yourself atop of Shondra’s sleeping body. She startles awake, ready for action. Little Miss perfect, always prepared, typical Shondra. You wrestle, it’s super awkward for Shondra because she is only in a t shirt so her vagina is like, all over the place. Super gross, have some respect for yourself, Shondra.
You’ve surprise attacked her so you have the immediate advantage as you wrap your gloved hands around her neck. If this were a movie, she’d feel for a blunt object on a nearby nigh stand and bludgeon you with it. But this isn’t a movie, this is real life and in real life, no one keeps dense objects by the bed. I mean, maybe an alarm clock but like, for example, I have like a water bottle and some glasses for TV watching, that’s it. Shondra reaches for anything but all she comes in contact with are a stack of papers, she bats at you with them, you remain undeterred in your murderous endeavors. You press your fingers deeper and deeper into her throat, you can feel your palms pressing up against her larynx, each sound, each breath, vibrating against your skin. It’s not enough to cut off Shondra’s air supply, you want to expedite the killing by simultaneously crushing her wind pipe as you cut off the oxygen.  She claws at your hands, your fleece protected, Gortex covered hands. She makes every attempt to move, flailing her legs wildly, her vagina flapping in the night air. As you choke her, you can’t help but start to smile. With every breath she selfishly gasps for, you can feel yourself growing closer to Garry. Just a few… More… Gasps. It’s as if Garry is behind you, caressing you, urging you to finish. You must kill her, it’s the only way you and Garry can be together. Even in dying Shondra is trying to keep you from him. You bear down, putting all of your weight on her throat. You lower your face to hers, eye to eye because nothing would make Garry happier than to know you watched the life slip out of her annoying brown eyes. You open your mouth and let out a slow and noxious puff of guttural coffee breath, right in her face. Why? Because it’s… Super gross.
You look down, there are red finger marks speckling Shondra’s neck as she lies there, dead. Her eyes glazed over staring out at nothing. Nothing behind them, no intentions, no thoughts, not even the dimmest flicker of light. You’ve killed her. Garry will be so proud when he discovers her body and truly feels your love for him. Then he will know. Then everyone will know. You check the clock, 6:23. It’s perfect. 2 times 3 is 6. 6 times 6 is 36. 6 divided by 3 is 2. 2. Like a couple. You and Garry. The math is clearly written in the stars. You crawl off of Shondra’s lifeless body, her vagina is still out, you cover it up, you don’t need to be reminded of Garry’s ex. Today’s monday. Garry won’t be back from his business trip till friday. You could have done it later in the week but you’ve stopped waiting for friday.
— 1 week ago with 177 notes
catgirlmanor:

Sunday fun at the cat girl manor!

catgirlmanor:

Sunday fun at the cat girl manor!

— 1 week ago with 320 notes
catgirlmanor:

mew mew! - Chateau maids

catgirlmanor:

mew mew! - Chateau maids

— 1 week ago with 428 notes
catgirlmanor:

Life is never dull at the Chateau!

catgirlmanor:

Life is never dull at the Chateau!

— 1 week ago with 135 notes
catgirlmanor:

Kitten Skylar posing for the chateau.

catgirlmanor:

Kitten Skylar posing for the chateau.

— 1 week ago with 30 notes
catgirlmanor:

Littleskylark of the Chateau.

catgirlmanor:

Littleskylark of the Chateau.

— 1 week ago with 124 notes
catgirlmanor:

Claudia - Sophisticated girls of the Chateau drink Champagne.

catgirlmanor:

Claudia - Sophisticated girls of the Chateau drink Champagne.

— 1 week ago with 32 notes